The Bookworm's Musings

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The Curse of Bridezilla

For some reason, I’ve been reading a lot of wedding horror stories recently. You know, the kind where the wedding costs as much as a house and takes months of hard work to plan. The bride turns into a monster, the groom takes an unplanned trip to Alaska (because the shuttle to the Moon was already booked), and everyone needs another six months to recover from the wedding after it’s all over.

What the Fuck is up with this? If I ever get married, I have my wedding all planned, and it looks nothing like the weddings I’m always reading about.

  • Simple ceremony (with a judge, not a minister) either at the courthouse or in the same physical location as the reception, which will most likely end up being a local church.
  • No live music, unless a friend offers. Instead, a speaker setup and a computer playlist will work just fine – if I decide to have music at all.
  • Invitations self-designed and ordered online. Self mailed to recipients. Plus online invitations.
  • My brother will make the wedding cake (probably sheet cakes with a small fancy cake for the cutting ritual).
  • Food will be a potluck. Sparkling Cider or Italian Soda. No wine. Mom will help plan this part.
  • I will make my own wedding dress (or hire a local seamstress to make it if I’m flush). Said dress will be simple and probably not white. I’ve already got the pattern picked out. Of course, I might decide to get married in one of my skirt suits instead – I have a light blue dinner suit that would be lovely.
  • Fascinator veil/headband.
  • Attendants will have a color scheme, but no required dress code.
  • Groom and groomsmen will wear nice suits in neutral colors with ties which match the color theme.
  • Simple gold wedding bands.
  • I probably would get a professional picture package, supplemented by my brother (who bakes and takes pictures).

This is what I think of when I think of a wedding. It’s remarkably similar to my mother’s: she wore a suit, her mother made her cake, and the residents of her apartment building did a potluck for her. It’s also similar to most of the other weddings that I have attended.

Nobody would be developing an ulcer over my wedding, least of all me. And there would definitely be no need to sell myself into slavery to pay for it.

Am I weird for thinking that this would be the perfect wedding? Does the $10,000 dress come with something I’m not aware of?

Maybe it’s a class thing? Or maybe I just have low expectations?

Seriously, what’s the point of having the perfect wedding if you’re too tired and miserable to enjoy it?

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I think it is a class thing, but not the way you think. All the very wealthy people I know just get a wedding planner and throw a ton of money at it and don't really worry. Of course there are some nerves and pickiness, but no bridezillas. I've seen more bridezillas in the middle class trying to be upwardly mobile category because they want a spectacle but want to save money so they try to plan things themselves and get stressed out.

I'm pretty low key, so I plan to just do whatever my spouse wants so long as we do not get married in a Church or in Vegas. So far as I can tell, the easiest way to cause stress at a wedding is to have your wedding planned before talking it over with your spouse and their family.

Well, that makes sense.
You know, Vegas could be pretty cool. Hmm.
If my mythical spouse wants to do something fancy and will plan and pay for it, I'm good with that. But I'm definitely avoiding that middle-class upwardly mobile thing. I'll either be so rich that I can just throw money at a professional, or I'll do something low-key. Actually, going to the courthouse followed by a nice meal with family at our favorite restaurant would be totally fine with me. And easier, too. No clean up, no tedious planning.
As long as there is not to much work for me, I really don't care.

I think your wedding sounds ideal and I wish my eldest daughter thought the way you do. She is in the throes of wedding planning (for April 2013) and it's ridiculous how much everything costs.

Hubby and I got married in a city park with a few of our closest friends, a cake/punch table for refreshments, and we 'hired' my oldest son to be the videographer while another friend took still pictures. It was quick, easy, fun, and no-stress. I am a little bumfuzzled by the whole epic wedding production!!! process myself.

I told Hubby I want to renew our vows for our 20th anniversary (in 3 years!) in a Vegas wedding chapel. With an Elvis impersonator to preside. I think it sounds like fun.

I don't get making a wedding some big ordeal...

Vegas sounds like a lot of fun...

Too many people, women especially, are more in love with the idea of getting married (she's Queen for the Day, beautiful dress, perfect ceremony, amazing flowers, cake to die for, awesome food) than they're in love with the person they're marrying. No wonder divorce rates are so high. And, a plain and simple wedding results in a couple who are just as "married" as those who got the ulcers and stressed over everything being "perfect".

Seriously, what’s the point of having the perfect wedding if you’re too tired and miserable to enjoy it?

no kidding, right? my family trends towards wedding packages in the $3k range - the whole deal, incl dress, photos, and reception. :-p

myself, i want a green kirtle - i might ask for a lot of gold embroidery/beading on the lower sleeves and bodice area, but i'd be more into the courthouse wedding myself. and for my honeymoon, camping. ;)

but i'm weird.


Doesn't seem at all weird to me. Sounds like fun!

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